Do you ever learn something that feels like a huge life lesson, only to realize you probably should have known it, like, all along? I just recently sort of realized that I am in charge of my home. Of course, the Lord is Sovereign over my life. But that’s not what I mean by “in charge.” I mean, I get to make this home. I get to keep this house. I get to run this ship. I report to the King, but He’s the one who has given me this responsibility. He charges me to be in charge.
And, of course, sweet Kip is my head and my partner, and he is by no means out of the equation. 🙂 But this particular realm of “Home” is up to me… daily disciplines, habits, moods, learning, meals, activities, schedules… they are under my watch most of the time.
When Rosie was a baby, I felt sort of enslaved to her needs. I think a lot of new moms feel this way. My entire life was essentially built around her, her needs. If she was asleep, the house better be dead quiet. If she cried, I soothed within the first 5 seconds. If she was grumpy, upset, hungry, whiney, whatever… I had to fix it. I was a slave to her every peep and need… day and night.
Once I got pregnant with Samuel, that perspective began to slowly change. And now that he is actually here, that perspective is absolutely different. Routine is now our jam. Nap schedules keep me sane. I know every little fuss doesn’t require immediate attention. I need at least 12 hours (minimum!) in advance to actually be able to go anywhere, and really, it has to be first thing in the morning. If Rosie fusses or gets up after she’s been put down for a nap, she is disciplined (lovingly & sternly) and put back in bed. I used to think, “Oh no… she’s awake. She’s crying. She won’t sleep. I have to get her up and make her happy.” But at some point, I had an “Aha!” moment, and realized, “I’m the Mama. I make the rules. It’s naptime.” And so it was.
Some days are wonky. Some days go great. I am learning what things I need to do every day to be a good steward of my home, not just survive my days until my kids are old enough to help themselves…. and me. 🙂 Things like waking up before anyone else , taking time to go for a run (working on those first two), daily time spent reading the Bible and praying, and chores that keep our heads above the water/pile of laundry. 🙂
I’m just a’learnin’. 🙂 Some days I find myself thinking, “I can’t believe I get to do this as my JOB!” and then an hour later, as Samuel grabs my glasses and hits me over the head with a spatula, “I am so over this.” Haha. So it goes. But what else would I rather do than spend my days with the people I love most?